Where to from Here?

 

Where to from Here?    

A sermon delivered by Rev. Dr. Randy K. Hammer, July 11, 2021

John 20:19-31; reading from Wrestling with God

The recovery, in 1945, of the diary of a young Jewish girl was without a doubt one of the most significant literary discoveries of the 20^th century.  Thirteen-year-old Anne Frank chronicled the experiences of her family who spent two years in hiding from the Nazis in secret rooms in her father’s office building.  In the pages of this book, which has been translated into more than 50 languages, Anne relates the fear and uncertainty that she and her family lived daily.  We read about periods of doubt, and periods of faith.  Hiding in fear behind locked doors is an experience that draws us in, perhaps something that some of us can recall from our childhood memories.

And so, it is easy for us to enter into John’s story of the disciples of Jesus, who were huddled behind locked doors on Sunday evening following Jesus’ crucifixion.  Now, this passage traditionally is read on Easter Sunday or the Sunday after Easter.  But I felt very strongly that this story was appropriate for today.  The scripture doesn't say how many followers there were; there could have been six, ten, or twenty.  The number need not be limited to the original twelve minus Judas and Thomas.

But they were in someone's house.  Their appointed, secret meeting place.  These disciples felt threatened, and were badly frightened, fearing for their lives.  And they were confused and woefully uncertain.

Can't you just hear the disciples as they murmured one to another?

"Shut that door!"

"Did you lock it?"

"Yes, I locked it."

"Are you sure you locked it?"

Yes, I'm sure I locked it."

"Well, check it again, just to be certain."

On the one hand they feared for their own lives since they had been followers of the Nazarene, who had been condemned to the cross.  Would Roman soldiers or the religious authorities hunt them down and crucify them too?  On the other hand they had failed their Teacher. They had deserted him in his great hour of need.  Cowards they had been--all of them.  Not one of them had had the guts to stand up and be counted with him.  They all had fled in fear when the soldiers came to take him.  Some of them, like Peter--when questioned repeatedly--had even denied knowing him.  Their self-respect was at its lowest.  Their manhood was wounded.  They were self-loathing.

And then on top of all that, they felt that Jesus had failed them.  On Jesus they had pinned all their hopes.  For Jesus they had risked their professions, left their homes and families, put in jeopardy their standing in the community.  Now he was gone, nothing more than a painful memory.  For as yet, you see, they did not understand any of the teachings about the resurrection.

And so, we see frightened, intimidated, uncertain disciples huddled in fear behind locked doors asking themselves, "Where do we go from here?"  It was a pressing question.  Where did they go now that the Teacher had awakened within them a dream, a vision of a Kingdom of God on earth?  Where did they go from here, when all their hopes and dreams had been crushed?  Where did they go from here now that they could be tied to that troublemaker from Nazareth who had been tried and crucified?  Did they go back to livelihoods and try to start over--Peter and Andrew and James and John back to their fishing business, and Matthew back to his tax collecting, and the others to their old professions?  Did they go back to their families--like whipped pups with their tails tucked between their legs--and admit they had been wrong in following Jesus?  Did they go back to the lifestyles that they had lived--cursing and cheating and such--before they had heard the Master's teachings on love, compassion, peacemaking, and forgiveness?  Where did they go from here?

Perhaps you have had those “Where do I go from here?” moments in your own life.  The loss of a job.  Or the failure to get a job that you had your heart set on.  The loss of a spouse or partner.  A shattered dream.  A devastating disappointment.  The betrayal of that person that you thought was your closest friend.  Such events in our lives throw all of us into that “Where do I go from here?” survival mode, don’t’ they?  Where do we go when we find ourselves hold up in those dark, locked rooms of life?

The answer, I believe, at least in part has to do with finding peace with our situation and understanding a new sense of purpose.  John's gospel tells how that the resurrected Jesus appeared before the fearful disciples as they huddled behind bolted doors.  This is one of the many stories that circulated in the early church as believers sought to explain their belief in the resurrection.  The blessing of peace was what they experienced.

But also, they felt called—compelled—to a mission to go forth into the world to share what they had experienced.  And ever since, the followers of Jesus, the community of faith, have felt called to a personal and collective mission to live out in the world.  That mission is to share God's love, affect forgiveness, and facilitate reconciliation.

And the way it works, in the words of biblical scholar Gail R. O’Day, is like this: "By loving one another as Jesus loves, the faith community reveals God to the world.  By revealing God to the world, the church makes it possible for the world to choose to enter into relationship with this God of limitless love.  . . .  The faith community's mission, therefore, is . . . to bear unceasing witness to the love of God in Jesus."¹  We do so in both word and deed—by loving others as God loves us.  And by forgiving others as we are forgiven.

But there is one more note of good news for all who may find themselves in that “Where to from here?” mode.  Good news for those who may feel locked in closets of fear, loss, disappointment, or uncertainty.  We are encouraged to not be like the disciples who huddled in fear behind locked doors when good news was waiting on the outside.  The invitation is to come forth from the dark, locked closet that has held us captive and go forth in confidence with the One who goes with us.  Outside the emotional and spiritual confines that we feel hold us captive, a wonderful world of possibilities awaits us.

The aim of the gospel writer was to get the readers of his gospel (which includes us) to see their own experience of fear and uncertainty reflected in the experience of those early disciples.  These words were written for us as well: “Peace be with you. . . " in the midst of your own fear and uncertainty.  Whenever we are afraid and hiding out, all locked up, in the midst of our fear we hear, ‘Peace be with you.’  Whatever doubts churn in our minds, whatever guilt troubles our consciences, whatever pain and worry bind us up, whatever walls we have put up or doors we have locked securely, we hear, “Peace be with you.”²  

After I shared the news of my upcoming retirement from full-time ministry last weekend, a few of you may have felt like the disciples—bewildered fearful, uncertain about the future.  But as I have shared with some of you, we are not going anywhere. If asked to do so, I will be available to fill in from time to time and to assist with funeral and memorial services.  The relationships we have formed will not change.  This transition—in conjunction with just returning after our Covid-19 exile—can serve as a fresh beginning for the United Church.  Rather than focusing upon what we might have wished would have been, we can focus upon the wonderful possibilities that can be.  And I am confident that things are going to be good.

So, where do we go from here when we find ourselves in those dark places of life?  As with those first disciples, we confidently go forth into the future with the grace of God, in the power of the Spirit, and with the peace of Christ in our hearts.  We open ourselves to the peace of Christ and we refocus upon our mission and purpose—as individuals and as a congregation.  And we go forth with our eyes wide open to the possibilities that lie before us!  May it be so.  Amen.