Restoring Lines of Communication

 Restoring Lines of Communication 

Job 32:6-12a; Luke 14:31-33, 35 

A sermon delivered electronically by Rev. Dr. Randy K. Hammer, February 7, 2021

We all saw on Christmas morning what happens when the lines of communication go down.  You may remember that a lone bomber detonated a bomb in an RV near the ATT building in downtown Nashville, killing himself and destroying several buildings in the process.  Allegedly the bomber acted on a conspiracy theory belief that ATT’s 5G cellular phone service posed dangers.  So he sought to destroy it.  Well, that one act had far-reaching effects, taking down with it lines of communication for days, far and wide, even here in Oak Ridge. When lines of communication break down or fail—when we lose Wi fi, Internet, or phone service—it throws all of us into a state of mayhem and panic.

But what happens when personal lines of communication break down in families?  In communities?  And in a nation as a whole?  Such is what we have witnessed—and continue to witness—in America today.  It appears that people have stopped talking with one another and stopped listening to one another and have, instead, commenced shouting at one another, belittling one another, and hating one another to the point that some of our elected government officials are now threatening one another with violence.  We have lost or disregarded the art of communication.

Something I read or heard recently reminded me that the ancient scriptures have a lot to offer when it comes to the art of communication. And so, I decided to do some gleaning of the scriptures, sifting out some of the wisdom of old that provides positive, practical advice about how to better communicate, in whatever setting communication occurs—in the home and family setting, in church study groups or board meetings, in community settings, or at the national level.  And here are some ancient principles for better lines of communication worthy of anyone’s consideration:

1.            Everyone should be quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19).  Such encourages the New Testament writer James.  And the book of Proverbs advises, “To answer before listening—that is folly and shame” (18:13).  And one of the themes we see throughout the book of Job is the back-and-forth tug of war between Job and his friends regarding really listening versus just spouting off words.

Giving deference to another and taking time to listen before speaking goes against our nature; we feel the urge and need to speak, because we (in our own mind, at least) feel we have the truth.  So, by human nature, our preference is to talk rather than listen.  But I think being willing to calmly, respectfully, and patiently listen to another before we speak is a sign of maturity. 

Norman Wakefield, in his book titled Listening: A Christian’s Guide to Loving Relationships, calls such “perceptive listening.”  Wakefield says, “Perceptive listening will make you wiser . . . Perceptive listening will help you build stronger interpersonal relationships.  People tend to seek out the perceptive listener.”¹ 

Jesus said, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear” (Luke 14:35).  The word Jesus used in that verse means “to hearken,” “to listen attentively.”  So, there is a difference between just hearing and really listening.  Who knows, if we take time to listen first—to listen attentively—before speaking, we might learn something we didn’t know and might even realize we were wrong after all.

2.            When we do speak, we should always determine to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).  I have found that sometimes one of the most difficult tasks as a preacher is to speak the truth—sometimes an inconvenient truth.  If I speak the truth as I am convinced of it in my heart, then I run the risk of upsetting people, causing friction, perhaps leading some people to no longer like or support me.  But it is also hard to always speak the truth to a family member or friend.  It is hard to confront with the truth someone close to us whose actions, behaviors, or beliefs are clearly destructive or dangerous.  We don’t want to cause a rift in a relationship or in the entire family, perhaps.

 

But the key to speaking the truth is to do so in love and in a loving manner.  I have been trying to figure out how to speak a word of truth to someone I know about a very sensitive issue, and I’ve decided that the way I need to approach it is by saying, “Friend, I love you dearly, and because I love you dearly, I feel I need to say this: Have you considered making such and such a change, as it is no longer the right or prudent thing to do?”  In a time when truth in our country has been sacrificed for the sake of popularity or personal interest, it is all the more important for us to do our best to always speak the truth, but to do so in a spirit of love.

 

3.            When we do speak, we do well to return a gentle (or soft) answer (Proverbs 15:1) versus a harsh reply.  Over the years, I have seen a lot more people who, when engaged in a disagreement, responded with a loud, harsh, or angry reply versus a calculated, quiet, and gentle answer.  But I have also known a few, rare individuals who had cultivated a gentle spirit and who could always be counted on to pause, give a gentle answer, and bring calm to a possibly volatile situation.  And I have always admired those rare individuals—some who had a religion other than Christianity—who never lost their temper, but regardless of the circumstances were quick to listen, slow to speak, spoke in love, and gave a gentle reply. It is a joy to be in the presence of such people.  And such, I think, is a sure sign of spiritual maturity. 

Well, if we had been taking a test, how would we have done when it comes to our practice of communication?  I am willing to admit that I am still working on the art of better communication—I’m still learning to listen well before I speak, still learning to speak the truth in love, and still learning to always reply with a gentle (soft) answer. I’ll admit that sometimes I fail.

The challenge of effective communication, of keeping the lines of personal communication open, is daunting; but the rewards for our personal lives, families, and nation are phenomenal.  As Jesus says, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear”—attentively!  May it be so.  Amen.

 ¹Norman Wakefield, Listening: A Christian’s Guide to Loving Relationships.  Waco: Word, 1981. Pp. 16-17