Learning to Hold Hands

A sermon delivered by Rev. Dr. Randy Hammer, Oct. 6, 2019

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; Ephesians 4:1-6 GNT

Learning to hold hands is one of the greatest and most intimate joys of life.  Perhaps you can remember the first time you nervously held hands with that first sweetheart, or with the person who was to become your life partner.  Joining hands with that special person was the greatest thing in the world.  And then there is that special time in the marriage ceremony when the bride and groom are asked to join hands to symbolize their uniting and becoming one.

But the joy and importance of holding hands is not limited to romantic love by any means.  There is the joy of a parent or grandparent and child holding hands while taking a walk together.  There is the priceless experience of holding the hand of a friend or relative in the hospital or nursing home.  

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting with our grandson, Josiah, in the hospital.  And he started having one of the bad spells he was experiencing at the time, episodes that lasted for 30-45 minutes.  I pulled a chair up close to his head and took his hand and held it until the episode passed, reassuring him that he was not alone.  The experience meant as much or more to me than it did to him.

And from a health standpoint, studies show that holding hands helps reduce a person’s level of stress.  So if you have been stressed out recently, find someone to hold hands with.

Indeed, learning to hold hands and walk together is one of the most important lessons to be learned in life.  Robert Fulghum, in his best seller, Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, observes that "when you go out into the world, it is better to hold hands and stick together." 

Such was the message of the preacher of Ecclesiastes about 3,000 years ago.  "Two are better than one," he said.  "For if they fall, one will lift up the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help" (4:9,10).

Which reminds me of what happened a some years ago at the Special Olympics.  Nine contestants, all physically or mentally challenged in some way, assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash.  At the sound of the gun they all started out with enthusiasm and determination to run the race to the finish and win.  However, one little boy stumbled on the pavement, tumbled over a couple of times, and began to cry.  The other eight children heard the boy crying. They all slowed down and turned to look back.  Then they all started walking back toward the starting line until they reached the boy who had fallen.  One little girl bent down and kissed him and said, “This will make it better.”  Then all nine linked arms and walked together to the finish line.  Everyone in the stadium stood, and the cheering continued for several minutes.¹  What a wonderful image!  And how much better off the world would be if all of us could have learned such a lesson early in life – joining hands and walking together.

But, you see, learning to hold hands and walk together is not always easy.  It requires something from us, as the apostle points out in Ephesians.  Taking someone's hand requires humility on our part.  Can you remember how embarrassed you were the first time you tried to reach for a sweetheart's hand?  Or when you wanted to hold a friend or loved one's hand in the hospital?  Or wanted to take the hand of another to show acceptance or unity or forgiveness, perhaps?  You may have found it to be a humbling experience.

Learning to hold hands requires gentleness and love on our part.  We don't reach for another's hand when we are angry or want to hurt them.  We take another's hand out of gentleness and as an expression of our love.  Taking the hand of another often requires patience and forbearance.

On another level, learning to hold hands and walk together is a symbol or metaphor for religious unity.  Make every "effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace," the apostle encourages.  For there is only "one body and one Spirit.... one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all" (Ephesians 4:3,4,5). 

What is needed in the world are more events and opportunities that promote unity—joining hands and walking together—among different peoples of the world.  Events like a faith seminar that Mary Lou and I attended in Nashville some years ago.  Representatives from the Christian, Jewish and Muslim faiths were invited to participate in a dialogue and panel discussion.  This seminar interested me because I am for anything that will strengthen unity among those of different faiths.  And evidently it interested a lot of other people too.  Though 100 people were expected to attend the event, 500 showed up.  It proved to be a wonderful event for all who participated.

The world is getting too small and far too dangerous for us to shun, be suspicious of, and ignore one another, especially those of other world faiths.  We must either learn to hold hands with others and work together, or we will all die while remaining apart. 

Indeed, the world is in critical need of all of us learning to hold hands (metaphorically speaking) and walk together.  Some years ago, I served as a delegate to a denominational church gathering, which happened to be held in Jackson, Tennessee.  One evening, three minister friends of mine rode with me to the Casey Jones Country Store and Restaurant for our evening meal.  (As a side note, Mary Lou and I love going to the Casey Jones Restaurant, and whenever we are going to pass through Jackson we always try to do so at mealtime.)  While we were in the restaurant, a storm was approaching in the distance.  By the time we got back to the church where the meeting was being held, the dark clouds looked ominous.  Jagged lightning in the distance was a warning that a severe storm was just minutes away.  When I pulled in the church parking lot, my three friends got out of the car.  I remained behind a few seconds taking some notes, getting my papers together, and stuff like that.  When I finally opened my car door and stepped out, Sam, one of my minister friends, was standing there beside the car waiting on me.  "Sam," I said, somewhat humbled and embarrassed, "were you standing here waiting on me?"  "Well, yes I was," Sam replied, "I didn't want you to have to walk by yourself.  In the world we often have to walk alone.  In the church we need to learn to walk together." 

Sam was right, but in a deeper, philosophical sense of the term.  We need to learn to hold hands as we walk the road of life together.  For when we do this, we look out for one another, we help one another, we lift up one another when one of us trips and falls. 

There is great joy and meaning in holding the hand of a brother or sister in the faith at a religious gathering where concern or unity of the faith is being expressed.  The time when we all join hands and sing the Lord’s Prayer following table fellowship at the 10 am service is a very meaningful time for me, and perhaps for you as well.  How wonderful if we could all carry that openness into the world with us and seek out opportunities to join hands with those who are different from us.

Yes, life can be so much better when we take the hand of another—whether it be the hand of a family member, a member of our own congregation, a member of another Christian denomination or religious tradition, or someone of another race or nationality—and walk together in harmony and unity.  As my friend Sam said, "We need to learn to walk together."  For nobody likes to feel alone and no one likes to walk alone.  May it be so, not only on this World Communion Day, but always.  Amen.    ¹copied