Self-Care for the Modern Soul

Self-Care for the Modern Soul

A sermon delivered by Rev. Dr. Randy K. Hammer – August 25, 2019

Psalm 23 KJV; Reading from Thomas Moore’s, Care of the Soul

He restoreth my soul. Psalm 23:3

Care of the soul is a continuous process that concerns itself . . .

with attending to the small details of everyday life, as well as to major decisions and changes. The Care of the Soul

Self-care for the soul is a timely subject, a topic that never goes out of fashion.  The psalmist spoke of soul-care some 3,000 years ago.  “He restoreth my soul” is a biblical phrase that all of us have heard time and again; it is a phrase that may be close to our hearts. 

Soul-care has to do with the spirit, the emotions, the psyche, the thinking and feeling and coping interior part of us.  Just as the body can become tired and weary and sick, so can the soul.  And just as we take steps to care for and to heal our physical bodies, we should be just as concerned with taking steps to care for and heal the spiritual part of us – the soul.

It has been 27 years since Thomas Moore released his New York Times bestseller, Care of the Soul.  I was prompted to pull my copy of Care of the Soul from my bookshelf and review it again this past week after hearing a story on the morning world news.  A segment on Good Morning America week before last caught my ear as I was ready to walk out the door.  But I stopped to listen and take note.  The segment began by noting how many Americans are busy and stressed to the max and need to make some changes in their lives by prioritizing time for self.  “Self-care can yield big benefits,” the segment stressed.  Like preventative medicine, or like taking your car in for necessary service to avoid future problems and avoidable break-downs, self-care is important to help maintain our soul health and facilitate successful living.  The story encouraged acquiring a new book coming out later this year by Dr. Jennifer Ashton, a GMA medical advisor, titled The Self-Care Solution.  But the segment also suggested a number of practical things that all of us can do as a part of self-care or soul-care maintenance. 

One area of self-care has to do with friends.  One of the easiest, yet most important, ingredients of effective soul-care is cultivating quality friendships with people who are good for us; people who enrich our lives and who make us feel good about ourselves.  When we work to strengthen such friendships by doing our part to be the kind of friend we want in return, the benefits are great.  And when we have such good friendships in place already, it is important that we stay connected with those friends.  Taking a walk or a hike, having lunch or a cup of coffee, meeting for dinner and a movie, attending a concert or other special event together with a good friend can be restorative for the soul.

Akin to cultivating positive relationships with friends who enrich our lives is also maintaining appropriate boundaries with people who can do just the opposite.  Not all relationships are positive in nature or good for our souls.  All of us have probably realized that at one time or another.  Some relationships and associations can be toxic and taxing to the soul or spirit; instead of building us up, they tend to pull us down and make us weary.  In some cases, we may have no choice when it comes to relationships that drain the life right out of us, especially when it is a close family member or close friend who depends upon us.  But sometimes we have to have the wisdom and courage to draw the line and perhaps even cut ties, when it is possible to do so, with those who are draining the life out of our souls.

Soul-care involves discovering what brings you real joy in life and pursuing it.  Now, this does not mean “anything goes,” or “if it feels good do it.”  No, it is about finding whatever worthy hobby or creative endeavor or passion in life that brings you great joy and carving out time in your life to develop and pursue it.  Some examples of that which can bring joy to the soul might be hiking, nature photography, music, dancing, writing poetry, sewing or quilting, cooking, painting, golfing, fishing, and so on.  The list of soul joys could be endless.  But each of us likely is energized by one or more such interests, and when we are able to engage in it – even if for only a few hours each week – we afterwards feel refreshed, renewed, and strengthened to face the challenges of life again.

The GMA segment on self-care listed another area that proves to be soul renewing for some people, and that is volunteering and giving of self for the benefit of others.  For some people, being a community volunteer or volunteer for some charitable organization proves to be an emotional tonic for the soul.

In that timeless soul-care passage, Psalm 23, the psalmist mentions spirituality, or his relationship with God, as a source of self-care and soul restoration.  But he also makes reference to a number of tangible images that are soul-care related: green pastures, still waters, and a table of food.  Such might be translated to the benefits of getting out in nature, hiking, or cooking and enjoying good food with family and friends.

And in his book, Care of the Soul, Thomas Moore mentions throughout a number of avenues that have bearing upon soul-care: family ties, developing our talents and abilities, being a part of a supportive community (which would include a church community), satisfaction in our work, a special room or corner even in the home that nourishes the soul, taking a walk in the woods, purchasing and meditating on sacred artwork, appreciating things of beauty, keeping a diary or journal, writing poetry, drawing, making music, or painting.  Again, the list of soul-care activities is endless.

Allow me to share two anecdotes to practically illustrate the point.  I ran into a friend at Kroger the other afternoon as I was on my way home.  And our friend was in the floral section, right where you walk in the door, and she was in the process of selecting some cut flowers.  I went up to her and after speaking to her, asked, “Who are you buying flowers for?”  And she replied, “For myself.”  She said, “My husband does a pretty good job of buying flowers and such, but for a long time I have had a habit of regularly buying flowers for myself.”  And I replied, “Because they bring you joy.”  And I then went on to share that the sermon I was working on for this week is about self-care, part of which involves activities that bring us joy, such as buying ourselves flowers that bring beauty and happiness to our lives.

And then the other anecdote involves our daughter, Kristin.  Many of you are aware of some of the major challenges our daughter has encountered the past nine years, including the pre-mature birth of a special-needs child, numerous hospitalizations, and having a couple of near-death, close-call experiences herself.  In order to deal with the stresses of daily life, Kristin sets aside short getaways for herself for rest and renewal, times which she calls her “selfcations.”

“Selfcations,” self-care, caring for the soul – whatever you call it, it can take many forms and wear many faces.  And the self-care for the soul that works for me might not work as well for you, and vice versa.  But the truth is, we all need it. 

The key is to find the form of self-care for the soul that works best.  And as Thomas Moore so poignantly reminds us, “When soul is neglected, it doesn’t just go away; it appears symptomatically in obsessions, addictions, violence, and loss of meaning.”¹ 

So whether we are talking about 3,000 years ago, today, or 50 years in the future – self-care for the soul is an ever-present need that always has been and always will be.  Again, a key is discovering what brings us soul joy and restoration, whether it be friends, creative endeavors, or giving of ourselves to others in volunteerism and service.  And if we don’t take care of the inner self and see to the needs of our souls, who will?  May it be so.  Amen.

¹Thomas Moore, The Care of the Soul. New York: Harper Collins, 1992, p. xi.