To Be Remembered

A sermon delivered by Rev. Dr. Randy K. Hammer, April 14, 2019

Luke 23:26, 32-43 NKJV

Reading from Tuesdays with Morrie

Several years ago, I developed a friendship with a minister colleague who pastored one of the downtown churches of Greeneville (about 100 miles east of here).  He and I would get together periodically for lunch and we would talk theology and the nuts and bolts of parish ministry.  He was a few years my senior, had had more experience than I had, and pastored a more “prestigious” congregation than I did.  But intellectually we hit it off and enjoyed several lunches together.

Well, the time came when our family left that country church in Greene County and we moved out of the area.  But sometimes when we came back to the area to visit family, I would call my minister colleague and we would meet for lunch to catch up and again talk theology and the nuts and bolts of parish ministry.

So it was that one such occasion arose.  We had returned to East Tennessee to visit family, so on Friday afternoon I called my minister friend and asked if he might be able to meet for breakfast the next morning.  I caught him working out in the yard, but he said, “Sure, I can meet you for breakfast tomorrow morning.”  So we agreed to meet at a certain time on Saturday morning at the Holiday Inn restaurant, which was about a 15-minute drive for me, but only about one mile from his home. 

The next morning I excitedly got up and got ready and drove to the Holiday Inn, was seated at a table in the restaurant about 5 minutes before our agreed-upon meeting time, and I drank coffee and waited.  And waited.  And waited.  Finally, after about 20-25 minutes of waiting past our agreed-upon time, I asked the server if I could use a telephone to call my friend to see what was up.  When my friend answered, it was obvious that I had woke him up.  And I said to him, “I’m at the Holiday Inn restaurant.  Are you still able to meet for breakfast like we planned?”  My friend began to apologize: “Oh, Randy, I’m sorry.  When you called yesterday, I was out in the yard working, and I guess I just forgot all about our conversation and our plans to meet for breakfast this morning.”  The long and the short of it was my friend had forgotten me. 

The truth is, none of us enjoys being stood up or forgotten.  Have you ever had such an experience, when someone stood you up or forgot about you?  Now, I guess I shouldn’t be too hard on my friend, as I have forgotten a few things in my life as well; like the time some of our friends and neighbors on the other side of the circle went away for a week on vacation and asked me to do a few things around their house like put the garbage out on the street.  And I forgot, until the morning of the day they were to return. 

But what being forgotten by a friend can say to us is, I’m not as important to you as I thought I was.  Our friendship obviously means more to me than it has meant to you.  To be forgotten, or to think that we have been forgotten, can gnaw at our sense of self worth and self image.  To be forgotten threatens our sense of personal integrity.  We want to be remembered.

Luke records that one of the two thieves who were also hanging on crosses, one on either side of Jesus, uttered the words, “Lord, remember me. . .”  Perhaps a more humble, more sincere and earnest, more powerful prayer has never been prayed – “Lord, remember me.”   As Frederick Buechner, in commenting on the request of the thief on the cross says, “There are perhaps no more human words in all of Scripture, no prayer we can pray so well.”  And Jesus, as Luke tells the story, assured the contrite thief that he would be remembered and would not be forgotten. 

Remembrance is such a vital thread we see running throughout the Bible.  Time and again in Jewish history and Hebrew literature we hear echoed the importance of remembering.  “Remember that you were slaves down in Egypt,” the Hebrews were reminded time and again.  And Jewish parents were instructed to make sure their children remembered their story and never forgot.  Teach these stories to your children.  Never forget.  Remember from whence you came!  And the Psalms – such as Psalm 13 that served as today’s responsive reading – are packed full of prayers to God as the faithful cry out, begging to not be forgotten, but to be remembered by God.  “How long will you forget me, O God?  Remember me!”

And as we read the gospel accounts of the night before Jesus’ death, we see him sharing the Passover bread and wine with his close disciples, and we hear him say to them: “Do this in remembrance of me.  Whenever you sit at table to eat this bread and drink this cup as a living symbol of my death, do it in remembrance of me.  Remember me.”  And so, for hundreds of years these words have been inscribed on countless Christian altars and communion tables: “This Do In Remembrance of Me.”

Again, how important it is to be remembered and to be assured that we are not and will not be forgotten.  As we minister to those who are approaching the threshold between life and death, we do well to bear in mind that it is important to them that they be assured that once they are gone they will not be forgotten.  Many people long to leave something behind as a guarantee that they will always be remembered.  Some people write a book with the primary purpose in mind of being remembered long after they are gone. 

Others design, pay for in advance, and have their gravestone put in place long before their death in the cemetery where they have chosen to be buried.  So it is in the cemetery in my home community.  It is common practice for those of the community to have their tombstone in place years before their death.  Both my parents are still living.  But for several years they have had their gravestone in place with their names and birth dates inscribed, as well as the names of their three children – “Parents of Randy, Tim, and Lisa.”  They have the assurance that they will always be remembered.

Regarding being remembered, Frederick Buechner also shares with us a beautiful piece, one of the more famous pieces for which he is known, a piece that has been read at countless funeral, memorial and graveside services.  And it is a piece that I often use as well.  Buechner says, “When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are.  It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us.  It means that if we meet again, you will know me.  It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.  For as long as you remember me, I am never entirely lost.”

One of the greatest services we can extend to others is to assure them that they are not forgotten; that we remember them.  So one of the greatest acts of ministry that every one of us can perform is letting others know – through a card in the mail, a telephone call, a personal visit, or even a loving email message – that we haven’t forgotten them; that we remember them and think of them often.  As Morrie Swartz points out, love is the heart and soul that keeps remembrance alive.

For this reason, the wonderful work that our In Reach group does is so vitally important, as they send between 30-40 loving cards every month to church members and extended church members to let them know they are remembered.  And when we seek to bring comfort to those who have just lost a loved one, one of the positive things we can do is assure them that their loved one will be remembered and not forgotten.  So when we send that sympathy note to someone who has lost a loved one by death, one of the best things we can write or say is, “Your loved one truly will be missed. He or she will be remembered always and not forgotten.”

“Lord, remember me” was the humble, simple prayer of the thief on the cross.  Yet, how powerful the import of those three little words.  None of us wants to be forgotten.  All of us want to be remembered.  And one of the most important services we can render to others – in life and in death – is to let them know that they are remembered.  May it be so.  Amen.